Am I Neurodivergent?

I have always been a little odd. As a kid I never quite fit in to any groups (even the alternative or geeky ones really) but I've always got by, and it was not until my late 30s that I began to have even the slightest inkling that I might be "neurodivergent". However, now I have considered it, I am looking back over my entire life and thinking...."well, durr!!" 

The thing that caused me to suddenly start considering this was lockdown, or rather the end of lockdown, and part of me wonders if I would have carried on obliviously for even longer if this had not occurred. I loved lockdown. I was fortunate enough to be in a relationship with my best friend, who was furloughed, and lockdown was a great excuse to spend my pregnancy sat on my ass playing games with my besti and eating snacks. It was difficult having a baby with minimal support available, but what I found much harder was when we were all allowed (expected) to return to "normal". 

The first social gathering I attended outside of my home was at a friend's house with a few people carving pumpkins for halloween. It was a small group of people I like, and it was lovely to see them after so long. However, the feeling of overwhelm I had afterwards was immense! It had been quite loud, with multiple people speaking and laughing over each other, and I had this sudden realisation that I really don't like that. For the next 24hrs or so every sound was too loud, every light too bright, every movement too fast, every job too difficult. Even the feeling of my clothes against my skin was too much. And I had a 10wk old baby to look after, as well as a teenager with a love of drum&bass (I know...don't get me started). 

More things like this started happening, and I began to realise how many coping mechanisms and masking techniques I used to employ to get through normal daily interactions...but I had done this for so long that I didn't even realise I was doing it. Not until I spent all those months not needing to. It felt like lockdown had made me autistic, but now I am looking back over my childhood and previous adult relationships, analysing all of my habits, feelings, actions...and there are SO many ADHD/ASD traits that I never acknowledged before! 

Now, I know this has been a very self indulgent blog post...but my thought is that I am probably not the only person that has had this realisation post lockdown. So, if you can relate to this post, drop me a message. If you suffer from sensory overload, social anxiety, a brain that feels like it is constantly being pulled in 100 directions at once and a complete inability to switch off...let's be friends :) 

You can find me on Instagram and Tiktok as s.s.c.geeksngifts (more alternative geeky goth content) and s.s.c.keepsakes (more mum content). Come and say hi!

Your friendly geeky goth mum,

Kerry - Shooting Star Creations