Why Bank Holidays Can Feel So Hard When You’re Grieving (And How to Get Through Them)
Posted by kerry dibble on
Why bank holidays can feel harder when you’re grieving
Bank holidays are meant to be a break. A pause from normal life. Time to relax, spend time with loved ones, and enjoy a slower pace.
But when you’re grieving, that slower pace can feel very different.
Instead of relief, you might notice the silence more.
Instead of rest, there’s more space for thoughts and memories.
Instead of connection, there may be a deep awareness of who is missing.
Grief doesn’t follow a calendar. It doesn’t soften just because it’s a long weekend. In fact, bank holidays can often intensify it.
The hidden triggers of long weekends
There are a few reasons why bank holidays can feel especially heavy:
1. More time to think
When routines pause, distractions disappear. That can leave more room for grief to surface.
2. Expectations to feel “good”
There’s often pressure to enjoy the time off. When you don’t feel that way, it can create guilt or isolation.
3. Family-focused moments
Bank holidays are often centred around togetherness. Meals, days out, traditions.
And when someone is missing, their absence can feel even more obvious.
4. Memory triggers
You might find yourself remembering past holidays; what you used to do, who you used to be with.
Those memories can feel both comforting and painful at the same time.
You’re not doing it wrong
If you’re finding bank holidays difficult, it doesn’t mean you’re not coping well.
It means you’re grieving.
There is no “right” way to move through a long weekend when you’re carrying loss. You don’t have to be productive. You don’t have to make plans. You don’t have to match anyone else’s energy.
You’re allowed to feel however it shows up.
Gentle ways to cope with grief during bank holidays
You don’t need a big plan. Just small, manageable ways to support yourself.
Keep expectations low.
Give yourself permission to do less than usual. This isn’t the time to push through.
Create a simple plan.
Even something small—like a short walk, a comforting film, or a quiet cup of tea—can help anchor the day.
Honour them in your own way.
Light a candle, look through photos, talk about them, or simply sit with your memories.
Step back from social pressure.
It’s okay to say no to plans or leave early. Protect your energy.
Stay connected (if it helps)
Reach out to someone who understands, or spend time in a space where you feel safe and seen.
When grief and “ordinary days” collide
One of the hardest parts of grief is that it exists alongside everyday life.
Even on bank holidays.
Even when the sun is shining.
Even when the world feels like it’s moving on.
You can feel moments of peace and deep sadness in the same day. Both can exist together.
A gentle reminder
If this bank holiday feels heavy, you’re not alone.
Take it hour by hour if you need to.
Do what feels manageable.
And know that getting through the day (however that looks) is enough.
If you’re navigating loss and wondering whether a memorial keepsake might feel right for you, you can download my free keepsake guide or join my email list for gentle support, stories, and updates. You don’t have to figure this out on your own. 🤍
https://mailchi.mp/f57f6c8f2230/i-can-help