Am I middle aged?

At what age does middle age start?

I recently turned 40 and I'll admit I'm not too happy about it. At 40 years old I am, realistically, probably somewhere around the half way point of my life, which would suggest that I am in fact "middle aged". I don't feel it though. Half the time I don't even feel like a grown up. Do you ever find yourself standing over your slow cooker, in your house that you organise, pay for, clean, run, with your kids tucked up safe in bed and your long term partner in the next room, and just think to yourself...."shit...when did this happen!?" When did we become grown ups? When do we become middle aged, and even more worryingly, old?!

I think the point I'm trying to make is that I do not feel like I am happy to be half way through my life. I love it, I want lots more of it, and I feel like I have not had much yet. But then I look back on all the wonderful, fun, stupid and absolutely ridiculous shit I have already done over the past 40 years and I realise something. Yes there have been some hard times, but on the whole it has been pretty cool, and right now I am living one of the best bits (so far) and hopefully I have another 40 years of awesomeness to experience...maybe even more!

It took me almost the first 40yrs to realise I'm neurodivergent, to find the right partner, to truly begin to understand and be comfortable with myself, and to find happiness. If I have another 40yrs left, my goal is to pay attention. To try and make sure I appreciate and enjoy as much of that time as possible, for in many ways, my new life begins at 40.

And it's gonna be great 🥰