Being a neurospicy mum over 40 — toddler sleep routine

Do you go to bed at the same time as your toddler? Do you find it affects your relationship with your partner, your friends, your older kids, or your sense of self identity?

As a neurospicy mum I suffer chronic overwhelm if I do not get some time to myself, or just to do the things that I find fun/relaxing/grounding. Having a toddler on my body all day AND all night is just too much, and causes me to become overstimulated and impatient (not my best mum self).