Why can't mums have a guilt free lie in!?

A few weeks ago I made a video about my failed attempt at a lie in. I get up with River almost every single morning, but on this occasion my partner offered to get up with her so I could sleep in. So of course I still woke up early, spent 2hrs laying in bed doing work, got up at 10.00 feeling really guilty, and then spent the rest of the day chasing my tail trying to make up for "lost time".

The response I got to my video on this suggests that this is all very standard. Many mums just can't enjoy sleeping in (especially those of us of an anxious persuasion😬).

"Mum guilt" refers to the feeling of remorse or anxiety experienced by mothers when they prioritize self-care or leisure over their responsibilities. But why do mothers often struggle to indulge in the simple pleasure of sleeping in or enjoying a relaxed morning routine?

Societal expectations and cultural norms heavily influence this. The prevailing notion that mothers should be selfless and devoted to our families often leads to guilt when we prioritize our own needs. Traditional gender roles and societal pressures place a significant burden on mothers to constantly be available and attentive to our children's needs, leaving little room for personal indulgence. Consequently, mothers may internalize these expectations, feeling guilty when we deviate from the perceived ideal and find it difficult to justify a leisurely morning.

Mothers often place immense pressure on themselves to be the best caregivers we can be. The desire to meet societal expectations, coupled with self-imposed standards of being the "perfect mother," can intensify feelings of guilt when we choose to sleep in. We may worry about neglecting our duties or perceive our choice as a reflection of our commitment to motherhood. Additionally, the fear of being judged by others can contribute to this guilt, leading mothers to sacrifice our own relaxation in favor of meeting external expectations.

Motherhood is a demanding role that requires constant attention and care. The 24/7 nature of parenting, especially during the early years of a child's life, can leave mothers feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. The absence of designated breaks or regular time off increases the pressure to utilize any available free time for productive activities or attending to household responsibilities. Consequently, mothers may feel guilty when we take a few extra hours of rest, fearing that we are neglecting our duties or missing out on valuable time with our children.

Recognizing and understanding the reasons behind mum guilt is crucial in fostering empathy and support for mothers. By challenging societal norms and promoting a more inclusive view of motherhood, we can encourage mothers to prioritize well-being without guilt. Promoting self-care practices, such as setting boundaries, seeking support from partners, family, or friends, and engaging in activities that promote relaxation can help alleviate the pressure and guilt mothers often experience.

Mum guilt, particularly when it comes to the inability to sleep in or enjoy a leisurely morning routine, stems from a complex interplay of societal expectations, internal pressures, and the relentless demands of motherhood. By acknowledging and understanding these factors, we can create a more empathetic and supportive environment for mothers. 

Of course...if anyone has any tips on how I can convince my overactive brain of all this sensible stuff, I'm all ears! 🤣 Can you still have lie ins as a mum? Let me know in the comments.